A little jealous

YAY! My little sister recently had her 2nd baby, a gorgeous little girl named Isabella. I am so happy for her....but a little jealous too, I must confess. This is the little toe-headed girl who shared my room, made me sing her to sleep and always asked for my advice. Now she's a grown woman with two children whom I will inevitably ask for advice when I am fortunate enough to have my own child. Don't misunderstand, I am so happy for her, I just wish we had more in common at the moment.

One unlucky day!

Ok, I'm surely gonna lose some cool points for this one (as though I had any to begin with!). I had one of "THOSE" days today...you know those days, the ones where every imaginable thing that can go wrong, can and will? Yup, one of those.



So I start this job TWO days ago. It's great! Total career change. I'm a recruiter for a medical staffing company...very interesting, challenging, exciting...I think I'm gonna love it. Anyhoo, day two and it's going along swimmingly. The husband informs me he needs a ride to the airport, at 11am. I ask my great new boss if I can take my lunch hour a bit early to take him. Sure, she says. No problem, right? Uh, huh. On my way back to the office, I get caught in traffic, so I have about 20 minutes to get back in what should take 35 minutes. I realize I haven't eaten...at all. No breakfast, nada. Me, without sustenance? Not pretty. Cranky, listless...foul, I tell you. So I see a KFC (my only option at this point...there goes the health food kick). Getting out was a bitc...you get the point. I sat there for another 7-8 minutes waiting for some kind soul to let me across THREE lanes of traffic. I don't make it. I have to go up, U-turn (illegally) and high tail it to be only a few minutes late. Here's where I lose it. One word: construction. In the hour I've been gone, they have closed down both accessible ways to the office. After much cussing, fist slamming and inhaling my "lunch", I arrive....fifteen minutes late. Thank God the boss was at lunch at didn't know, but I fear one of my sales competitors will rat me out. I'll let you know Monday.



On my way home (through the f-ing construction), I think I'm home free. I'm already tasting the alcoholic beverages I'll be consuming. WHAT?! Blue and red lights flashing in my rear-view. F#@%!!!!!! Do you know why I pulled you over, he asks? Yes, my tags are expired AND I have a taillight out AND I can't find my insurance card (in my defense, I've NEVER had a ticket). The kind officer lets me off with an only $75 ticket...according to him, coulda been upwards of $1000. Thanks for the info, pig.



Still, I'm not phased. I'm going to have margaritas and a movie with a friend, I'm ok. At least that's what I'm chanting the whole way home. I make it, still smiling. I get in, get my doggy, leash him up and walk out the door. And then, it hits me. No...no, no, no, no!!! PLEASE, no. I turn the handle and sure enough, I've locked myself out. The on-site building supervisor is not home OR answering his phone, my husband's on a plane and I, well, I am screwed. I have to laugh. I do, until it becomes so hysterical that I begin to snort. My dog, a pug, thinks I'm having a conversation with him and becomes even more hyped-up than usual. What's a girl to do? Again, the silver lining is, I had my phone...not my KEYS, but my phone. I call Pop- A- Lock. Great service, it is. But AN HOUR later, a fat, sweaty guy gets in my apartment in literally thirty seconds and I'm 60 bucks in the hole for his "service". He then has the nerve to remind me I am welcome to add gratuity. Gratuity?? For what? You've already robbed me blind! But, I am grateful to be out of the blazing heat.

So, while due to my own stupidity, did these things ALL have to happen to me TODAY?? Of course they did, because that's my luck...or lack thereof! I think that's why I have a thing for ladybugs. German tradition says they mean good luck. Lord knows I need all the help I can get! I'm determined to avoid black cats, find a four leaf clover...you get the point. But I somehow manage to smile through the mess. There's a bajillion things I hate about me but I'm grateful for that aspect of my personality. I really think I'd have lost it by now if I couldn't find the proverbial silver lining. Sheesh...

I'm Baaaaack!

Ok, I have a confession....I haven't blogged in a while because I forgot my password. Oh, AND I couldn't recall what e-mail address I signed in with. Yup, 32 and already going brain dead! Anyhoo, I'm back in action and ready to discuss some hot topics I have on the brain:

1) Really??!! The news (including legitimate sources) are THIS obsessed with Paris Friggin Hilton and her meager jail sentence? Really?! Can we not see that the reason she's famous is because we keep perpetuating the madness? I've resorted to checking out my gossip rags from the library or scouring Perez Hilton's website for the must know info. I refuse to spend money to feed the beast. Hmmm, but I have to know what's happening...hypocrite?

2) I started working out...again. I somehow manage to start AND stop within a month. I'm one of those "wanna see results yesterday" kind of people. It's been about 2 weeks and still nothing. Really?! I have to keep up with the leg-burning, sore muscle, gasping for air crap for an indefinite amount of time? Really?! Ugh! The only thing that keeps me going is an August trip to Key West during which I'll inevitably be in a bathing suit (Lord knows I need an actual reason) and the fact that I sleep like a baby now. However, my liver may not recover from the massive amounts of Ibuprofen I'm consuming.

3) I've been interviewing for a new job. I would rather poke myself in the eye with a rusty butterknife. How do I know why I'd be the best person for the job?? I know nothing about you or your company and can't even say I'd remotely like it. I have to sell myself like a hooker, but am not sure why or what for. I've had three offers, but still no job. All based on interviews. I've now made getting the job and subsequently declining it the challenge.

4) I am so ridiculously in love with my new dog, it's repulsive. I, by most standards am NOT a dog person. Not to be all prissy, but I hate a slobbering, smelly dog jumping on me. They've just always sort of annoyed me. Then, after losing a bet to my husband, we decide to get a dog. Of course, I had criteria. It can't bark, shed, jump, require walks or get on the furniture. After scoffing at my demands he proceeds to tell me he's always wanted a pug, A PUG? Really?! Don't they snort and have zero physical ability and wrinkly faces with big eyeballs?? Yes, he tells me, but they're ideal for small spaces (such as our apartment) and are so sweet and great with kids etc, etc, etc. So we get a call from the Humane Society that they have a 1-2 year old pug if we're interested. Long story short, we get the dog and within days I am wrapped around his paw. He snorts, jumps, sheds, gets on furniture and somehow I don't care so much. His sweet, wrinkly face and the way he looks at me with those big eyeballs...I'm butter. Oh, and he never leaves my side. Feeds my ego perhaps, but nonetheless, I love him. Meatball, that's his name. Really?! Yes, really.

5) I've realized that expressions spread like wildfire and I've made it my mission to bring back a few. It all started with Douchebag. I say it about everyone...in a negative way of course. The lady that cut me off, the guy that broke my friend's heart, my husband some days...douchebags. It applies to men, women, animals...even children, if you so choose. I've said it so much, I've noticed people in my life are jumping on the bandwagon and saying it too. What's funny is that I am from Florida and keep in touch with several people there, so some of them are now saying it. I've since stared hearing it on TV, from strangers. Now, I'm not so arrogant to think this is because I said it...but still, I never heard it before like I do now. And my new thing, that I stole from my friend Leslie, is "really". I say it constantly. In a repetitive way. Let's see if it catches on. Really....